ABOUT US
Relationship Problems – How We Make Sense of Them
“There is one problem in love and how lovers manage closeness and distance.” – Dr. Laurie Watson, Director
Relationship problems are distressing! Both partners want to feel love and be close but often in different proportions. They each also want to be respected for their separate purposes, interests and strengths. In a relationship, however, one partner seems to be all on one side of this continuum of needs.
Pursuers
The first partner may smother the other with their needs for connection, closeness, and talking. In fact the harder they try, the worse things get; they get angry because they are trying to get through to their partner.Pursuers feel very anxious about the state of the relationship, vigilant to see if their partner has somehow become angry or upset with them. They frequently check in with their partners just to see “if everything is alright.”
In relationship distress, they are afraid of being told they are “too much.” They worry a lot about abandonment.
Withdrawers
The other partner is often backing up, focusing energy on work, and thinking that things are okay if their partner would just get happy. Their withdrawal makes sense – to them – because they want to keep peace and they’ve learned that talking about things only makes it worse. Withdrawers seem to not notice or care about the problems in a relationship (secret: they do ;)). They feel things are okay if their pursuing partner isn’t complaining. They are often baffled by the upsetting effect that their distancing behavior has on their pursuing partner. They hold their feelings close to the vest. In relationship distress, withdrawers get the message they are failing. They are afraid of being controlled and not having enough autonomy. They are also afraid of rejection.
The Cycle
Each partner does the thing that makes their partner react. They wind up trying to survive by using a protective strategy like: attack, freeze or flee – only to trigger their partner further. To further complicate things they may reverse the stance in their relationship. Disengagement triggers criticism and criticism triggers disengagement.
How We Solve Relational Problems
At Awakenings, we use the scientifically-researched attachment theory as our clinical orientation to help solve these relationship problems. All our clinicians are trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy – a relational therapy based in attachment theory. We teach pursuers how to feel less anxious and make direct requests. We coach withdrawers on initiating and nurturing and representing themselves more clearly. We help couples escape what we call the negative cycle – a pattern of one person pushing and criticizing and the other withdrawing and not talking.
Attachment theory demonstrates that our central drive in life is to be connected to another. We emerge from childhood usually with one of three attachment styles: secure, anxious (pursuers) or avoidant (withdrawers).
What Secure Attachment Looks Like in Relationships
If we are secure, then we do not fear being engulfed by our partner and we are not anxious when our partner is pursuing their own endeavors. Intimacy feels good; we share our hearts with confidence.
Our Services
Couples Counseling
Couples Counseling & Marriage Counseling
Most couples come to couples counseling or couples therapy because they sense a loss of connection and feelings, are having problems communicating, are repeating negative cycles of criticism and withdrawal, are constantly fighting about personal relationship or are avoiding each other completely. We are highly trained marriage counselors in emotionally focused therapy (EFT) to help couples heal.
Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling improves marriages by 30%! Begin your happily ever after with help from the marital experts. Prepare for the marriage, not just the wedding. Make the best investment in your marriage during the most flexible time you will ever have during your relationship.
Affair Recovery
Unfortunately, both women and men have affairs. Your worry may have increased because your partner is acting suspicious – like not explaining their absences, not letting you see their texts, having sudden unexplained absences or recently having changed passwords. Or perhaps you are the partner who feels tempted by another alluring person. If you feel this way, you need couples counseling immediately!
Christian Marriage Counseling
At Awakenings we have several therapists who specialize in Christian marriage counseling and Christian relationship therapy. They feel faith is central to the way people become whole and believe that God is part of the three-fold knot keeping Christian couples together. Our Christian counselors (all our counselors!) know that therapy is moral ground and will help you find the life God intended for your marriage.
LGBTQ Couples Counseling
Talking about personal matters is tough and if you’ve been marginalized in our culture because of your sexual orientation or gender identity, the thought of going to herapy may make you feel particularly anxious. At Awakenings we understand the difficulties of coming out, of being different from the majority, of having suffered both major and micro traumas about who you are. We are committed to LGBTQ persons feeling comfortable, safe and accepted…
Couples Intensives
For potential clients who are out of town but wish to work with Awakenings’ clinician, we offer flexible length intensives. These intensives last between one and three days, and are often scheduled over the weekend.
At Awakenings we have several therapists who specialize in Christian-based couple’s counseling and Christian therapy. Faith is central to their lives and the way they believe people become whole.
Individual TherapyAnxiety Treatment
Most people these days live a busy, fast-paced, stressful lifestyle where they work too long, have huge responsibilities and live without support from close-by family. It’s almost unavoidable to feel stressed out. But sometimes, worry and anxiety about the future takes on a life of its own.
Depression Treatment
People think that depression means just being sad and its true, depressed people often weep or cry more frequently. Sometimes men express depression as increased irritability and anger. Depression may impact your ability to make decisions and concentrate.
Individual and Adult Therapy
Individual therapy is an option for changing the patterns that stop you from succeeding and keep you getting in your own way. Does your life feel governed by anxiety, depression, or ? Maybe you know you drink or eat too much but you don’t know how to fend off the empty feelings.
Media Contact
Company Name: Awakenings Counseling for Couples
Contact Person: Media Relations
Email: Send Email
Phone: +19198455400
Address:9205 Baileywick Rd STE 200
City: Raleigh
State: North Carolina
Country: United States
Website: https://awakeningscenter.org/