Day in and day out, I have conversations with clients that revolve around goals, challenges, and life’s many experiences. It’s evident that our focus often leans towards fixing issues we have little control over, while we neglect the areas where we have the most influence. No matter the situation, the constant is you – your decision to break free from undesired feelings and create paths towards enduring positive change. If you are tired of surviving and toughing it out, consider these four steps to catalyze a transformative shift in your life.
1. Embrace Your Current Situation
Whether coaching clients or engaging in speaking events, I consistently stress the significance of acknowledging your current life situation. Just as you can’t navigate to your destination without knowing your starting point, understanding and accepting where you are is pivotal. Too often, the lack of acceptance we understandably want at times blinds us to our starting point. Acceptance entails recognizing whether a situation needs to change or if adjustments in your approach are necessary. For example, since you can’t alter the traffic on your morning commute, consider enhancing it with a podcast, a new playlist, a different route, or adjusting your departure time. Frustration doesn’t alter the situation; it only alters your state of mind.
2. Value Your Desired Change
In my Mindset Transformation Coaching® program, I guide individuals in uncovering their Thought and Emotion Value Scale (TEVS) for elements they deem important. This involves an honest evaluation of what they truly value, not just what they desire. For example, I’d like to win the Lottery, who wouldn’t? It is obviously not that important, however, because I don’t actually play the Lottery except on random occasions. How many times have you tried to make a change to your habits with the type of commitment with which I play the Lottery? Probably more times than you realized. Guess what, that’s okay. You see, not everything is high value at every moment. Learning how to focus on what you value most, not what you think you should value most, is what gets results. The other stuff is just clutter. Set it aside until you are really focused on making a genuine life shift in that area. Recognize the difference between fleeting wants and genuine values. Focus on what holds the highest value for you at the moment to yield substantial results.
3. Release Limiting Beliefs and Be Courageous
In addition to having value for the change you want to make you must also believe that you can do it, and that you deserve the new positive outcome. At a recent event I shared the very first step of the 4 Keys of Significant Change: letting go of limiting beliefs. I’ve found that the hardest part for many people is recognizing (and owning) that you have unconscious voices that hold you back. These voices are the ones that say things like, “I probably won’t get the job anyway,” “I can never keep the weight off,” “I always attract unhealthy relationships,” “I’m not as good as the other people in my field.”
You are more capable and resourceful than you realize but it takes courage to step out of your comfort zone. The reluctance to change stems from the fear of failure, but remember, not attempting is not succeeding; it’s complacency. If you are okay with that then it is your obligation to yourself to let go of the fact that you have chosen the status quo and have decided to remain the same. If you don’t you will continue to focus on an area you have control over but are unwilling to change, causing further stress and unhappiness.
4. Move Toward Your Desired Outcome
Distinguish between moving away from unwanted circumstances and moving towards your goals. Shifting focus from what you don’t want to what you aspire to creates lasting motivation and long-term success. The “Move Away” goal sounds like, “I don’t want to be heavy,” “I don’t want to be poor,” “I don’t want to be with someone like that.” Whereas a “Move Towards” approach sounds more like, “I am going to be fit and healthy,” “I am focused on abundance and happiness,” “I will only be with someone who shares my values.”
The “Move Towards” mindset fosters continuous improvement, propelling you towards incremental achievements. Unlike the “Move Away” approach, it maintains momentum, offering the flexibility to navigate obstacles and discover new routes as needed.
Lasting change demands personal commitment, value for positive outcomes you seek, and a habit of positive belief that says, “I can and I’m worth it.” Once you develop a motivation strategy that aligns with your aspirations, accept every experience on your journey as feedback guiding you to persist or adjust your strategy. You are totally capable of making any changes you want and having a more fulfilling life; it begins with embracing your power for positive transformation.
About Nicole Hollar
Nicole Hollar is an Empowerment & Wellness Speaker and Coach, and Author of the best selling book, “Feeling Stuck? Empower Yourself to Live a Happier, More Fulfilling Life,” which she modeled after one of her highly successful one-to-one coaching programs. Her new book, FEELING STUCK? Empower Yourself to Live a Happier, More Fulfilling Life is available on Amazon.
Follow Nicole’s Work. Website: https://www.NicoleHollar.com
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