It was a typical Sunday morning, until Brad Klausman’s daughter came out as bisexual in a church small group – it was a surprise to everyone, even him. He was approached by members of the church who said they would “pray” for her and try to “fix” her. “I realized that my personal convictions no longer aligned with those of the church, but the church was my job…my life.” Brad discussed this with his partner, and they decided that they will always choose their daughter. Soon after, Brad’s partner posted on social media: ”I stand with you.” Quickly, they were questioned about their beliefs by the lead pastor and were discouraged from posting after the meeting. Brad wondered: “If they’re thinking about firing me because of my partner’s beliefs—what are they thinking about my daughter?” He was already being pushed out of his position due to underlying tensions in the church, so Brad made the decision to re-write his life—a life he was told didn’t exist outside of the Church since his childhood. As he transitioned out of his position, Brad was able to see and understand who really loved him for who he was, and didn’t just simply tolerate him. Out of the carnage, Brad only kept six friends out of 20+ years in ministry, which was very hard for him.
After leaving the Church, Brad sought unbiased support from a therapist to decondition his mind and begin the process of healing. He started studying religious texts, which he was discouraged from previously – he even got a job in a cigar shop to start over and build new relationships. It was at this time that Brad found some deconstruction accounts on Instagram and finally felt that he had found his people. Community is something that is big within the Church and without church, Brad had no community for the first time in his life, so he had to create his own. He created an account, @brad.lifecoach as a place for like-minded people to connect with each other and share their experiences with leaving the Church. A year later, he’s built a community where fellow ex-church members can feel safe, heard, and empowered and the people didn’t just tolerate Brad – they embraced him.
Because of this resilient community, Brad decided to become a life coach for those deconstructing from toxic religion. Brad wants his community to understand that they’re not alone and there are people that will support and accept them for who they are. Brad’s live interviews give his audience an opportunity to find healing through hearing other people’s experiences. Watch his Instagram Lives, and see that he is sure to always foster validation for his guests. Brad said, “As I found more people that could relate to my own lived experiences, I realized that we could turn misogyny on its head.” Brad’s journey of going from ex-pastor to life coach allowed him to realize that there is hope and freedom after religious trauma, and there is life outside of the Church — and that people can learn to trust themselves again.
More information on Brad Klausman can be found at https://www.coachingwithbrad.org.
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